How much time do you waste online? I was starting to spend way too much time on Facebook and Twitter. Today’s post is basically a rant and comments are more than welcome.
Marketers tell you that these services are essential for your web business. I had held off for awhile because I wasn’t sure if social networking was just the latest fad. Between the big social networks like Facebook and Twitter, as well as many others such as Medium, you can spend hours and hours each day trying to keep up and be active.
Taking the Plunge.
The first one I joined was Twitter, which I enjoyed in the beginning. I connected with a handful of people who would interact with each other. We were helping each other out with each others’ websites, sharing software links and talking about interesting stuff. I discovered some useful websites and tools there.
Pretty soon, however, my experience with Twitter turned into thousands of marketers wanting me to follow them. It became 100% one-way Tweets, with everyone wanting you to pay attention to their message. Responding to all of these Tweets would be a full time job.
I’ll still go to Twitter, but I’ve arrived to the point where I use it to automatically run blog feeds since there seems to be little meaningful interaction. In my account, there are about 5 or 7 people there — mostly atheists — who interact and have any sense of humanity there. The rest are just tweeting across what has become a great big huge billboard.
As to Facebook, it all started when my brother asked me to join. He said it would be fun. So I did. Pretty soon, I had connected with all sorts of people that I hadn’t seen or talked with in 10, 20 and even 30 years. Some were lost relatives. Others were friends from high school and college.
This was all quite fun and I made some very good contacts there that have blossomed into web ventures.
But …
… and there’s always a but …
I try to be polite. So if someone writes to me, I write back. I try to be somewhat interesting or entertaining.
At first, people were sending all sorts of “lists” and activities, like the “List of 25″ where you had to write 25 random things about yourself, different personality tests and so on. Some of these were fun, but they were time consuming. What turned into one or two “games” being sent a week quickly blossomed into 2 or 3 a day. This was coupled with snowball fights, Easter egg hunts and a bunch of mindless games.
I started to ignore all of these games and applications, but would respond to emails or “wall posts” that came in. Some of the emails were really long winded without saying much of anything; others were quite interesting.
Before I knew it, I was spending 2 or 3 hours a day on Facebook, just trying to be polite by responding to people’s posts and trying to keep my profile updated.
The Narcissists.
There are always a handful of people in online social networking groups who suffer from narcissism. They try to get as many contacts as possible — such as 1000 friends on Facebook or 20,000 Twitter followers. Their self worth is tied to how many online friends they have.
The narcissists never respond to all of these “friends.” However, they expect everyone who is following them to read all of their posts — whether on Twitter or Facebook or wherever — and then respond with a compliment or supportive observation. They get really miffed if you don’t acknowledge everything they post.
I’ve met a few of these on Facebook. They take the number of friends they have there very seriously and get quite upset if they don’t hear from people.
In real life, I’ve learned to stay away from the narcissists. They are draining. These are the kind of people who don’t listen, they only talk. If you are allowed to say something in their presence, they “one up” you with their own personal story which is more dramatic, more intense, somehow better.
If I don’t have these types of people in my “real life” world, why spend time with them on Facebook or anywhere else online?
So I’ve learned to get “rude.” I’m just at a point where I don’t have to respond to everything on Facebook or Twitter and I don’t.
Addictive Applications.
A friend who, ironically I had reconnected with on Facebook, was lamenting to me on the phone about how Facebook was taking up too much of her time.
It turns out that she had “adopted a puppy” there. It is some kind of digital game where you have to feed the dog, play with it, and take it for walks. If you don’t do this, the puppy gets sad, then it’s hungry and, if you are really bad about ignoring it, it dies.
My friend was feeling really guilty because her puppy was hungry and she was worried it would die.
Because of her feelings of guilt, she kept logging into Facebook every day to play with the puppy. Soon, she would get engaged in all the other activities going on there.
Why Do Things Online That You Won’t Do in Real Life?
I’m at a stage where I haven’t written anything meaningful on Facebook in weeks because I just don’t have the time to deal with friends, relatives and acquaintances for two or three hours a day. I don’t do this in real life, so why do it virtually?
They say that in life, you can count your true friends — the close ones who you trust and enjoy spending time with — on one hand.
My true friends are people I talk with on the phone. We meet for dinner. We hang out.
I don’t need the Internet to have friends. That’s not to say that I don’t enjoy the people I meet online. The Internet is fantastic for business, entertainment, education and connecting with people. But take it with a grain of salt and see it for what it is.
I can build a lot of web pages in 2 hours. I can get a lot of miles in on my bike in 2 hours. To me, these things are much more productive than spending two hours chatting with people who will never have much of an impact in my life.
How about you? Have you reached the same conclusions that I have? Please comment. I’d love to read about your experiences. Besides, you’ll get a backlink which at least gives you something for your time.
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